Cheating and infidelity are, sadly, more common than most people are aware of. Based on the latest infidelity statistics 40% of unmarried relationships will deal with at least one incident of infidelity. You might think that this problem disappears with marriage. However, a quarter of married couples will also experience at least one case of infidelity. There’s an issue here and it might even make you nervous about your partner. But what can you do about it? Well, we recommend that you think about identifying the signs that your partner has been unfaithful.
It’s also worth noting that a case of infidelity isn’t always a cause to end a relationship. Many relationships power through turbulence like this and come out the other side stronger than before. Both people in the relationship just need to be willing to take the right steps. So, let’s explore some of the common signs and then look at the potential solutions.
The Phone Test
The phone test is simple. You should be able to switch phones with your partner for 24 hours. If you come out of this the other side, then you’ll know you are in a strong relationship. It’s fair to say that if your partner is cheating on you it’s likely that evidence will appear in this crucial 24 hours. There are exceptions. If your partner is given enough notice, they can likely warn someone not to message. Even then, however, it is likely that there is some evidence on their phone that proves their infidelity.
Do not assume that your partner is cheating if they don’t agree to take the phone test with you. It’s possible that they have trust issues and that’s something that you’ll need to work on too. However, do be wary if they never let you see their phone, actively hide it from you, and never let it leave their side. This is a common sign that they are, at the very least, hiding something from you.
Now, it’s possible that this isn’t to do with cheating. It could instead be something related to money. There are a lot of cases where someone will hide a financial situation from their partner to protect them.
Trouble With Illnesses
One of the clearest signs that your partner is unfaithful will be if you catch an illness and specifically an STI. If you are diagnosed with an infection like this, then your partner probably passed it onto you. However, you do need to be aware of some key facts surrounding particular STIs. For instance, you might have the signs of genital herpes. If that’s the case, it’s important to understand that this infection can lie dormant for years. So, it’s possible that you contracted it before you started dating your partner. The good news is that genital herpes treatment is widely available and the infection is easy to treat.
If you are diagnosed with an STD like gonorrhea, then it is more likely that your partner has cheated. But you can not treat this as concrete evidence that your partner has been unfaithful.
Stories That Don’t Add Up
If your partner is unfaithful then they will be lying to you. They might have to lie to you regularly. They might have to lie about where they have been or where they are going. They could be lying about issues related to work or connections to the people in their life. Eventually, you will catch them out with at least a couple of lies. One lie can be a misunderstanding but don’t forgive your partner if you catch them lying to you on multiple occasions. It’s likely that there is something going on here that you need to be aware of.
If your partner is lying to you, then it is important to confront them directly. Don’t let them wriggle out of it or forget because if you do this then they will continue to do it. The danger here is that you avoid the truth because you don’t want to confront it.
How Should You Handle Your Partner Being Unfaithful?
There are lots of ways to deal with your partner being unfaithful. You could end the relationship. You might decide to do this if there is no sign that your partner is willing to change or has any interest in doing so. This will be the case if they have cheated on you multiple times. Don’t forgive them if there is no sign that they are willing to improve.
If you do decide to give them a second chance, make sure that you encourage them to build back up the trust. Most therapists recommend that you do this with a jar technique. You can buy an empty jar. Each time your partner provides you with a reason that they can trust you, put a pebble in the jar. When the jar is full, your relationship is fully healed.
Since we mentioned it, therapy is also an option that could be worth exploring. If you opt for therapy, then you might want to think about couple’s counseling. The benefit of a service like this is that they will give an unbiased view of your relationship and the problems that exist. You just need to prepare for the fact they probably won’t put all the blame on the partner.
It’s possible that your partner will claim that you don’t put any time or effort into the relationship. This can be infuriating and does in no way justify your partner’s cheating. However, you can still strengthen your relationship if you decide to change your behavior.
Another step that you can take is working with your partner to reignite the spark in your relationship. If you do this, then there won’t be a need for them to seek out a romantic connection elsewhere. You should think about exploring going on dates each week or at least once a month depending on how busy your work schedule is. It’s important that you always make time for yourself and your partner.
As hard as it might be, the key step to take here is exploring why they were unfaithful in the first place. It’s possible that there is an issue in your relationship or it might be tied to how they perceive you and the relationship as a whole. The reasons will always determine what the next step should be. If your partner doesn’t hold any value to being faithful, then there’s no point in trying to continue. Ultimately, they will hurt you again and again. If however it is tied to a problem at the core of your relationship then this can be fixed. You can heal, you can rebuild, and ensure that the connection between the two of you is stronger than before. The only question is whether they are willing to put in the effort to do this.
We hope this helps you understand some of the most common signs that you can’t trust your partner. Remember, it’s not worth staying with something that doesn’t value your worth. A lot of people tend to stay with their partner because they are worried that it’s the best they can do or it’s all that they deserve, but this is not the case. You just need to be brave enough to be single and then determined enough to find someone in the world who will treat you right. There are more than seven billion people out there and you only have one life to live. Don’t waste it with someone who isn’t prepared to give you the level of respect that you deserve.