It seems that the trick to getting anything you want in life is about becoming more confident, but it’s not always as simple as this. The fact is if you are looking at being a supreme badass in life, the idea of being confident means stepping over people on your way up. But, this isn’t a healthy way to be, and as we’ve all learned, you should be nice to people on the way up, because you’ll see them on the way back down! So, when it comes to the art of giving yourself a confidence and assured makeover, it’s not just about getting some confidence, it’s about changing your entire being. In other words, giving yourself a makeover inside and out. But when it comes to giving yourself this supreme makeover, where is the best place to begin, and what can you do to ensure that it’s an emotionally healthy one?
The Art Of Listening
Whether you want to be a leader, or a better person, the crux of it is that you are secure in your own abilities to listen to, and take on board, other people’s opinions. Now, this is different to being needy and demanding that other people give you positive reinforcement. But it’s about being calm enough to sit still and focus on someone, and taking everything they have to say. Great leaders have this quality in spades; the skill to focus on one person and to make this person feel like they’re the only one in a room of 100. This is a skill we can all benefit from fine-tuning because it improves our relationships with everyone. Everybody wants to be listened to, but not many want to do the listening. And this is key to developing an aura of confidence that will carry you through life. It’s something you could start now, because how many times have you sat there listening to someone, or at least pretending that you’re listening? Instead, be an active listener.
Assertiveness Without Forcefulness
Powerful women get what they want, but have you seen those people who push and push for what they want, and are visibly annoyed when they don’t get it? On paper, this can look like the act of a spoilt child, but it’s important to be assertive because nobody wants to be a pushover. And being assertive without being forceful is a delicate balance. Look at the best leaders in a business; they know how to put across their thoughts without stepping over others. And again, it’s about the art of being calm and confident in your own abilities to do right. A great way to practice this is to say “no” from time to time. Are you someone who is constantly bending over backward for people? And if you get nothing in return, that sense of resentment can build up, which is very unhealthy. And on the topic of resentment, it’s not about doing things for other people so you get something in return. Sometimes, it’s about being assured enough to let people feel like they are getting the best of you. Letting go of the idea of having to do things for people so you can get something back is not something that even figures in the mind of someone who is assured and confident in their abilities. And holding onto this idea of resentment isn’t healthy anyway. So if you find yourself to be one of those people that are asked to do something, and you end up saying “yes” without giving a consideration as to how it will affect you, practice saying “no”. It can take some time for it to sit right with you, but once you’ve done it a few times, it becomes easier. And you will feel the benefits of not putting so much stress on yourself.
Checking In With Yourself
Making the time to see how you’re really feeling with regards to changes in your attitude to life is essential. Sometimes, we are so keen on making seismic changes to our attitudes in life, that we don’t give ourselves the time to stop and focus to see if it feels right. So, give yourself that breathing space from time to time. Undertaking a major change in your personality means taking stock in every part of your being. People do this in different ways; they take a break from life and go away to see if what they are doing is beneficial to their emotional makeup. It’s like those people who undergo cognitive behavioral therapy, there can be a point when they are developing this new attitude to life, but, although it is more positive and healthier, it can feel weird because it’s not what they used to. Ultimately, you know when something feels right, and when you’re working towards a positive emotional makeover, there will be a point when you feel like you’re caught between personalities to an extent. This is why it’s vital for every single one of us to slow down and see if we are actually going in the right direction. Checking in with yourself is something that we don’t always have the opportunity to do because life is so damn busy, but all it takes is 10 minutes in the morning and 10 minutes in the night, just to listen to the quiet.
A Positive Self-Image
Part of the makeover process from the inside out means that you will, eventually, come to the point where you are looking for a physical makeover. There are two schools of thought in relation to this; one is that by dressing for the personality you want, it will gradually assimilate into your frame of mind. And this is where ideas of positive self-talk help us to change our attitudes. Much like giving yourself a pep talk in the mirror works to change your mental attitudes for the better, by dressing yourself in an image that you consider to be powerful; it has a profound impact on how you hold yourself, which in turn, will affect your way of thinking. There’s an interesting Ted talk on this, which will go at the end of this article. But the other approach is that you should fix yourself from the inside out first. In which case, this is the last piece of the puzzle. Creating a positive self-image depends on your individual goals. If you want to be a high powered career woman, there are certain benchmarks you might want to hit as far as style and look is concerned. Using specific women’s shoe styles, the right outfits that communicate your attitude, but also how you hold yourself, are things that you can constantly learn to evolve over time. But everybody has their own idea of what is classed as a positive self-image. This is why you should go and look in the mirror, and picture what you want to see. This idea of imposing an image on you and visualizing yourself being like this in life is something that many athletes have done over the years. It all goes back to that idea of transforming your thought processes. And some people view this as a very strange thing, but the fact is, it works on a scientific level. Your brain is so malleable, that it cannot tell the difference between a thought that is real and a thought that is imagined. This is why you can transform your brain, and your thought processes, and become a different person. This is, in essence, the key to treatments like cognitive behavioral therapy. So, look in the mirror, and take the opportunity to embrace positive self-talk and visualization. What does the ideal version of you look like? Be that person.
Remember That It’s A Practice
And when it comes to giving yourself a makeover, inside and out, remember, it’s not a quick fix. Nothing happens overnight, and we are always working in progress. Attaining that idea of perfection is something we can all chase, and that is what gives so many of us the drive to constantly evolve. But there are things we can all do in life that requires a lifelong practice. The great thing about whatever your goal is, whether it is to be more confident, more assertive, more relaxed in your demeanor, even if you haven’t got there yet, you’ve still made significant progress. A few years from now, you will look back, and see that the person you used to be is completely different to the one you are now. And once you’ve seen this, even though you still consider yourself to be a work in progress, this is a major result! We base our lives on rituals; we get up in the morning, brush our teeth, have breakfast, and so forth. When it comes to improving and attaining a level of contentment in your life, sometimes we all need to practice this. Some people go for long walks so they can mentally recalibrate, others go to the gym, but there comes a point where these things become an ingrained habit. Once you’ve hit that point, this is something that stays with you for life.
If you’re unhappy with who you are, or you find that there’s an aspect of your life that could do with tweaking, giving yourself a makeover from the inside out is what will make you the best version of yourself you can be.